To be Loved is to be Seen

To be loved is to be seen. In honing our ability to shed the masks of who we assume we need to be to earn acceptance and love, we inevitably attract and invite love into our lives. This is essential, especially for those of us who have had more than our share of run-ins with the pain of experiencing unconditional love. There is a rich irony to how the masks we wear in order to later compensate and “earn” love effectively end up shielding us from receiving exactly that wish we seek. It is easy to get so attached to the masks that protect us from feeling vulnerable and exposed, that we risk losing touch with the person underneath.

The silver lining of this common experience of mask wearing is that our systems are attuned, whether we know it or not, to let us know when an opportunity has arisen to let go of a mask that we no longer need. If our ears are open, we can notice a nudge now and then toward welcoming a higher level of contentment and joy into our lives. By shedding our masks we are able to embrace our feelings of strength and confidence once again. These are precious aspects of our identities that can never be lost, but have been hidden away for safekeeping.

How does your system let you know that you’re ready for this necessary shift to take place, to let you drop into the person you’re meant to be and experience deep fulfillment? Here waits another irony. It is through those feelings of discomfort that you’ve noticed: the shame at what you haven’t accomplished, the loneliness when you do not have the quality of connections with others that you desire, the helplessness that you feel as you watch your life pass by unlived. These feelings are a sign that your system is doing exactly what it was meant to do. It is your body letting you know loud and clear that you were meant for more. This emotional pain is actually parts of ourselves crying out that they no longer wish to wear a mask, and wish to be seen once again.

You see, we often aren’t taught this, but your feelings (yes, all of them, even the most uncomfortable) are incredibly valid and important. These feelings may be seen as the muffled cries of your truest self that have been dampened beneath a pile of lessons that life has taught you. You’ve tried your best to be the person that others thought you ought to be, so that you could protect yourself from their shame and judgement, such that you can barely remember what it feels like to feel truly alive and present within yourself. Your heart already knows that a life spent in hiding is a life unlived. We both know that you deserve more than that. You only need to learn the language of listening to your body and emotions, and you will find the sense of belonging and purpose that has always been waiting for you, begging for you to listen and follow it home.

Are you ready?

If this resonates with you, consider joining forces with a therapist on our team to start to understand how to listen to your inner experience and emotions, and building new skills to move through uncomfortable emotions to realize the wisdom you’ve always held.

You’re welcome to schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation with any LifeRoots therapist to start to bring your path forward into focus.

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